January 28, 2011


I had a shower "ah-ha!" moment a week or so ago.

I've decided the best way to make this a personal project is to alter my thesis statement to include my body shape: pear. And when I say that I want to include my body shape, I want to include me.

Why not complete the journey to acceptance by including a doll of me? To be brave and photograph myself in my underwear and then create a doll to match and have hundreds of people see it? You can't be forced to be "out there" than that.

I'm more excited to get it started that I am frightened at the fact that people are going to see my big ass in my underwear. Talk about exposure!

But I think it's mostly a catharsis. I can't be the voice of women to love themselves if I'm not wiling to get out there and do it myself. Since I'm in a constant struggle to love and accept who I am and what I look like, I think it's a great way to get the ball rolling. "This is me. Take me for who I am" isn't just part of my thesis statement for women, it is for me as well.

I know it's been many posts back since I've shared my doll concept, I'm going to post the mock-up and encourage any new readers to read the excerpt from my thesis proposal at the right, and even download my thesis proposal from the link (on the right as well).

Digital mockup of what my finalized
dolls will look like (only different
body shapes)


  1. I want you to teach me how to love myself as I am, imperfect and utterly human. I don't know how. It's funny, though, 10 years ago I felt the same way, and when I look back I was in such good shape then...10 years from now, I will think the same thing, so why not learn to appreciate me right now instead of only in hindsight? I get the logic of it, but I really don't know how. I no longer hate on myself in my internal dialog, which is a start, but there I am stuck. You are a good writer, an awesome artist, and a brave and honest woman.

  2. Thank you! I want to be brave. I want to show the world that it's ok to be who you are and to listen to that inside voice, even if it's negative... because it's honest. And to learn to change that inside voice to something more positive. It's not realistic to think that someone can change the way that they think 100%. But from my own experiences, every little bit of positive thinking like "my hair looks good today" or just saying "thank you" when someone compliments me (even if I don't feel like it's true) REALLY starts to wear away at that negative voice... honest!

    I think that by bringing myself to do the thing that scares me the most, it will start wearing away at that voice. Maybe help influence us normal ladies to do it too!