After a lot of talking with my mentor, and mulling in my head, I'm ok with the path I'm taking. But I have to clear things up a little bit.
I don't want anyone to think that I disagree with a healthy lifestyle. You can be happy with your body at any state, size or shape.
Personally, I'd love to lose the 100lbs (yes, you read that right) I gained during and after an abusive relationship years ago. I would be ecstatic to lose 40lbs. Not because I hate my body, but because I'm sick of being unhealthy. I'm sick of being out of breath, I'm sick of being exhausted. I'll even admit to being sick of not being able to find clothes that I like at thrift and vintage stores that fit me.
I want to be able to be comfortable in my skin, and if that means learning to accept myself while I get healthy, that's great.
I AM a firm believer in being healthy at any weight/size. It's possible. If I lose 10 pounds, and that's it, but I am able to feel good and walk up a flight of stairs and not get winded, fine.
While I'm at it. I found this book while I was researching, and just the title alone, pissed me off:
This, to me, reinforces this negative view that others have toward anyone who isn't skinny. Big, bold, red letters THIS IS WHY YOU'RE FAT (you big lazy blob of lard). Fat=Bad and everyone who can read should avoid being fat, period.