Diary of a fat artist: Take aways!

Diary of a fat artist: Take aways!: "So I made some prints of my first mockup doll as a take away for a few people who come to my thesis presentation. I was beyond frustrated ..."

Take aways!

So I made some prints of my first mockup doll as a take away for a few people who come to my thesis presentation.

I was beyond frustrated because I didn't think I had scanned my original after painting and before I cut it out. So I attempted to remake it, but just couldn't get it to where I wanted it, and after about 5 or so versions, I picked the one that didn't suck.

When I got to school the next day to scan it, I saw that I HAD in fact scanned the original before printing!

Hurray for being neurotic about documenting my process!

So I whipped together my doll take away.

I already bought display bags, brads and little baggies for the brads as well as a corner rounder (which is my new obsession. I've been rounding the corners on everything in the house) and put together about 20 take aways.

Here are some really unprofessional photos of my process:

Corners cut!

In the bag!

Brads inside

This little machine is one of the best things
I've bought in ages

All done!

I enjoyed making these and hope that they are successful enough to warrant ordering them. I really think they turned out gorgeously.

Boxes

I've been talking mostly about the process of constructing my body image dolls, and not so much about the boxes they'll be standing in front of. These boxes will be hanging on the wall with the dolls on stands in front.

My "Fubs" (or future husband for those not in the know) is a dynamo with a saw and some nails. We were a little worried about how these things would come together without ruining the ads underneath. But they came out amazing!

I chose vintage ads as the background for my dolls because they represent a time when the fashion industry sought to urge women to mould themselves into certain shapes. Now, I'm not saying that modern media doesn't do the same thing. It's just that advertisements of yesteryear use such absurd and sexist wording and imagery to sell their products. A faceless woman selling you underwear. A woman tethered (an obvious control issue) and told that she can be a "living doll". There was no fear of upheaval from women for blatant sexist ads.
Modern advertisements are just as absurd, but they're just a tad more subtle, and honestly, not as funny to me. I can't look at these vintage ads and wonder what agencies were thinking. I highly doubt that it is as interesting as any episode of Mad Men could portray. (Check out this link to see some even more obnoxiously absurd sexist ads)

While the four images I'm sharing don't show the breadth of the images I'm using, it's a small sample. I like that my awesome dude was quick to help without a peep of complaint, and they look gorgeous!

My dog ate my homework

I've never used this excuse in school. I've never really been a good liar. So I just tell the truth. If I forgot, I forgot. If I f@&#ed up, I effed up. Plain. Lying just makes you look irresponsible. Although, I AM flaky. I forget a lot. I try to keep a calander, I write LOTS of notes to myself, but sometimes, I get really wrapped up in one project and forget others. I'll call it a personality flaw. Big time.

But this time, for real, my dog ate my homework.

Not just my homework.

But my HAND.

And part of my arm.

Oh the humanity!

I wasn't TOO upset by it because I needed to redo the arm and hand, but I was hoping to recycle those parts because I'm not sure if I have the same skin tone hanging around in a cup.

I'm going to take this in stride and see it with humor. Because, it really is pretty funny.

A new round

I was asked to take photos of the "graduation" dress I just ordered. You know what that means, right? FULL BODY photographs.

While I was taking them, I didn't seem to have an issue, but now that I've looked at them, up comes the old "I hate looking at full body shots" issue I had when I started my thesis. You'd think I'd be a little further with my body issues, since I've been doing so much research, drawing and painting.

WRONG.

Wait, let me back up a little. I DID photograph myself in my underwear (pretty cute undies if I do say so myself). And while I was a little uncomfortable sharing the images at first, I figured I'd share them on my Tumblr page and Facebook page. What's the big deal with me in a dress?

I honestly don't know. But it all came crashing down on me when I took these photos. Sometimes a high-waisted dress will make me arch my back while I'm wearing it, thus making me look pregnant-y.

This made me think: this body acceptance thing is such a process. I thought it would be really easy. I do research, I photograph models of varying body shapes, I draw, I paint. I've been immersed in this process for a couple of months, I should be a lot further. While I feel better than when I started, I guess I expected to be a glowing model of how a woman could turn her mental attitude around.

WRONG.

I hate the way I look in these photos. I love the way I looked in the dress when I put it on. I was so glad that it fit just about right, and looked really cute on me. I hate how the camera makes me look bigger. Or maybe my brain makes me look smaller. I catch myself walking past mirrors and saying to myself "I look pretty good, I like the way I look". But when forced to look at full-length photos of myself, I can't stand it.

It's a wake up call to realize that this process is more involved and longer than I thought. I've come a long way, and I still have a little bit of a hurdle to jump. But maybe it's the wake up call I need to be more actively engaged in the process.

Here they are:

Me. Dogs. They had to be involved.

I'm so white, the flash washes
me out.

Ooh...model-y. SHAZAM!

Humbling experiences

This is where I take the time to thank everyone that's chipped in to help me with my project. In the spirit of anonymity, I won't mention names but you know who you are.

I would NOT have been able to accomplish this on my own. Searching for reference photos online is like trying to find an overly used cliche in a haystack. It just couldn't be done.
I didn't have to search high and low for images, I didn't have to do hours of altering. I got pretty much what I wanted the first round through.

I even had help from someone I've never met in person. The power of social networking is highlighted AGAIN in my thesis!

If you see one of my images that looks familiar, but doesn't look like you. Good! I worked really hard to change the way they looked. Mostly because I used some school mates, and while these are hanging, I didn't want the spirit of my project to be overshadowed with "Oh, I know her, and here she is in her undies".

I also didn't want them to look exactly like my models because I didn't wan to disappoint if they didn't look EXACTLY like them. This is where my severe case of perfectionism comes into play. Altering them took some of this weight off. Again, it was mainly just to make my dolls more "every woman". They are, for the most part ethnically ambiguous. Again, because I didn't want this to overshadow the "every woman" feel I was going for.

Sneaky peek.

There is one that is eerily close to the model, and if that bothers her, I apologize in advance. In my defense, it's a good looking doll. The other that concerned me, is one that I changed the face SO much, it no longer resembles the model at all. Save for the body shape. This model is highly recognizable when drawn, and I was afraid that if I even remotely used her face, it would deflect. I hope that she's not disappointed.

And there is my partner in crime who's gone out on a limb, spent time, weekends, energy and money building my displays. I really have no idea how I'm ever going to repay his kindness and hard work. I mean, seriously hard work. Just look at the diagrams he drew for the boxes:

He's spent entire days laboring over these, countless trips to Home Depot to replace wood, primer and paint. Inhaled fumes for hours (he already has had sinus surgery to remove polyps) and froze his freckly buns off in the garage cutting, spraying and nailing. It means the world to me.

So, before I get weepy and emotional, I mean it from the pit of my soul. THANK YOU to all that have helped. Now, I have to get back to work.

I'll leave you with more relavant fat humor. I know this is meant as a put-down, but I think that doll is beautiful!

Eat this low fat food, you'll fit into your clothes!

I have to interrupt this blog

To scream at the top of my lungs... that I'm GETTING MARRIED!

Taking a long weekend to the coast with the boy and his brother did me well. It reset my brain, and reset my motivation. I felt like I was swimming through mud, and I feel like I "click" and am ready to get back into the swing of pumping out work.
Although it's hard to get out of vacation mode and pulling myself out of euphoria to get work done.


I'm going to keep it short, because I'm still trying to wrap my brain around it. I've known him practically all my life, and our reconnection is the stuff of fairy tales, and before I get barf-worthy, I have to show the junk! The gushy junk!

He knows me well. I'm not a trend follower, or a trend setter. I didn't get a mass-produced ring straight from Fred Meyers. It's an art deco ring from the 20's and individual as I hope that I am. I'm not a ring upgrader, I didn't even require a ring. He's the old fashioned one. Either way, I'm happy as a lark.

Could I be, growing up?